I've been having a lot of marriage conversations lately. Here's an article I read that discusses the book Guyland:The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. It seems to uphold some of my humble thoughts on the topic.
(
http://www.newsweek.com/id/156372/page/2 ).
The author says that there are a lot of bad attitudes getting into the heads and hearts of young men concerning
marriage. The Married Guy is quite scarce in today's popular culture. "When he does show up on TV, he's usually shown as freakish, fuddy-duddy and frequently religious: an uptight Boy Scout in a Peter Pan culture. "Today's prime-time television," the PTC says, "seems to be actively seeking to undermine marriage by consistently painting it in a negative light."
Who ever would have thought that "Today's guys are perhaps the first downwardly mobile—and endlessly adolescent—generation of men in U.S. history. They're also among the most distraught—men between the ages of
16 and 26 have the highest suicide rate for any group except men above 70—and socially isolated, despite their image as a band of backslapping buddies."?
I have three sons in their 20's and it makes me sad to think that young men might be experiencing a certain angst that was usually distinct only when they reached middle age.
"...Once the preserve of whacked-out teens and college slackers, this testosterone-filled landscape is the new normal for American males until what used to be considered creeping middle age, according to the sociologist Michael Kimmel. In his new book, "Guyland," the State University of New York at Stony Brook professor notes that the traditional markers of manhood—leaving home, getting an education, finding a partner, starting work and becoming a father—have moved downfield as the passage from adolescence to adulthood has evolved from "a transitional moment to a whole new stage of life...What used to be regressive weekends are now whole years in the lives of some guys...Actually, it's more like all the old ways—drinking, smoking, kidding, carousing—turned up a notch in a world where adolescent demonstrations of manhood have replaced the real thing: responsibility."
Guys should know how
'hot' it is when a dad does the faithful husband part and the dad thing really well! I was chatting with some young women who totally vouch for this... it's called 'p--- for girls', where the sight of a dad playing with his kids is really
hot. But more than that, studies prove that "married men are happier, more sexually satisfied and less likely to end up in the emergency room than their unmarried counterparts. They also earn more, are promoted ahead of their single counterparts and are more likely to own a home."
GUYLAND NEEDS HELP! So... that is where women come in. The way I see it, I believe God created humanity. He created woman as a 'helper' for man. Somewhere along the way, that has become a condescending position, a sort of consolation position beside a superior gender. But think about it... you would not ask for help from people unless you were convinced they could actually help you. You wouldn't hire a tutor to help your kid in math unless you knew the tutor was better in math than your kid is. I'm not saying that women are better, I'm not saying that men are better, not for a second. It never has to get to that discussion with me. I am saying that men need help, and women can be that helper.
"Men benefit from just being married, regardless of the quality of the relationship. It makes them healthier, wealthier and more generous with their relatives," says Scott Coltrane, author of "Gender and Families" and dean of the University of Oregon College of Arts and Science. It accelerates men's journey toward stability and security. "In general, those are the things that lead to happiness," he adds."
this is, as always, my humble opinion...
toodles